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Sure, we all want people to behave the way we
want them to. We want them to be more
affectionate. Or more outgoing. Or smarter. Or
more ambitious. All of these things are
expectations. Expectations are just your
requirements for “acceptability” of loving
someone. But true love has no expectations. It
simply loves “as is.”
2. Love doesn’t play the victim role or blame
others.
Love doesn’t think others are “out to get them.”
Love doesn’t think their loved ones are wrong.
Love works together. It takes responsibility. It
forgives and allows other people’s actions to be
their journey. Love doesn’t take things personally.
3. Love includes letting go.
Love doesn’t equal possession. Just as the saying
goes, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes
back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.”
There is truth to that. Love allows people their
freedom. It doesn’t hold tightly and crush their
wings in attempt to keep them. True love doesn’t
want to possess. It is willing to set you free if you
want to be.
4. Love doesn’t require you to continue a
relationship.
You may love someone very much, but you may
not be compatible with them. Or they may drive
you crazy with their continued disregard for your
feelings. You can still love them, but that doesn’t
mean you have to be with them. Love doesn’t
mean that you have to stay, and stay and stay. You
can leave the relationship and love them anyway.
5. Love has no room for jealousy.
Like possession, jealousy doesn’t equal love. We
think that if we’re not jealous of our loved ones that
it means that we don’t love them. True love has
confidence in the quality of the relationship. It
knows that the other person is happy and content
coming back to you and only you.
6. Love is the absence of fear.
You can put all emotions on a continuum. On one
end, you have love. Then appreciation. After that,
it’s joy, happiness, contentment and satisfaction.
On the opposite end of the continuum of love is
fear. Other fear-based emotions include, hatred,
insecurity, jealousy or greed.
7. Love is not needing, but wanting.
One of the things we try to teach kids is that there
is a clear difference between a want and a need.
Needing someone is a feeling based in fear. You
fear that you can’t live without them, so you need
them. And remember, fear is the opposite of love.
Wanting someone in your life gives them the
freedom to leave, but still shows them you love
them.
8. Love is an action, not just a feeling.
Humans tend to be addicted to intense emotion —
especially when it feels good. So, when we’re in
love, we want to feel that way forever. But guess
what? That higher than “Cloud 9” feeling goes
away after a while. That doesn’t mean you don’t
love the other person anymore, it just means that
it’s not new anymore. So that’s where the action
needs to kick in. Show the person you love them.
Don’t just assume they know.
9. Love is unconditional.
The word “unconditional” means that there are no
expectations or limitations set. To love
unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most
humans aren’t good at that. But true love really
does love without trying to change the other
person.
10. Love means putting other people’s needs
equal to — or before — your own.
While people may be inherently selfish for survival
purposes, this does not serve us well in
relationships. If you don’t put other people’s needs
at least equal to your own, they will grow resentful.
Real love truly, genuinely cares about other
people’s happiness and will go to great lengths to
make people feel valued.
11. Love is the highest vibration emotion that there
is.
Science has proven that emotions like love and
fear have very different vibrations. They can
actually measure them. Love vibrates very fast,
whereas fear-based emotions (think jealousy,
possessiveness, hatred, greed, etc.) vibrate very
slowly. When you love completely and
unconditionally, there is no fear involved. The
vibrations of love make you feel good at all times.
12. Love requires attention.
Love doesn’t ignore. It doesn’t look the other way.
It wants to be present and be together. When
people are in love, sometimes they think that they
don’t have to “do any more work.” But real love
actually enjoys giving attention to another person.
It feels good, and doesn’t see giving attention to
another person as a chore.
13. Love understands and accepts differences.
Let’s face it: We’re all different. Even identical
twins aren’t exactly the same. They have different
experiences and outlooks about the world. Real
love doesn’t make other people wrong for being
different. When people truly love another person,
they accept their differences.
14. Love varies in how it is expressed and
accepted.
What makes us “feel loved” varies. In the book
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he
explains the different ways people give and
receive love: (1) Words (2) Acts of Service, (3)
Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together and (5)
Touch. It’s important to discover other people’s
love language so you can understand each other
and give love in a way that the other person
recognizes it.
15. Love makes you feel good, not bad.
Many people confuse being in a relationship with
love. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t
mean there is true love present. If there is jealousy,
possessiveness, constant fighting, abuse (verbal,
emotional or physical), that is not love. Refer back
to . Those are fear-based emotions and actions.
16. Love has empathy.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself into another
person’s shoes and see a situation from his/her
point of view. Love has deep empathy. “When you
hurt, I hurt.” People who truly love one another
don’t want to hurt them. They want them to feel
good. They care about their feelings and try
everything they can to make them feel valued and
worthy.
Remember, love is happiness, appreciation and
feeling good. Anything other than that is not love. If
we all loved one another as ourselves, the world
would be a better place!
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